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February 26, 2006
Danish Metroanagram
Thorbjørn Kühl has fittingly made a Danish anagram version of the Metro map. See it here.
Posted by daen at 10:35 PM | TrackBack
February 25, 2006
Hence Goeth Porn Meat
Seems to be all the rage to anagrammatize your local transport system. So here's Copenhagen's Metro system done for your pleasure. Slightly larger version here. I cheated slightly by Anglicising the Danish letters (mainly "ø" became "oe").
Posted by daen at 02:12 AM
February 22, 2006
Dodge Horn Round Tunnel
So, we leave Copenhagen at 16:30 on Friday 3rd, heading for London City Airport. From there, we'll be travelling across to West London. It's a lot funnier if you travel by Anagram though.
From Contortion Rapidly on the Allowing Dastardly Hick to Or Palp, then change to the Lent Car line to Drafts Rot. Then we can go straight to Bawdier Analogy.
Another possibility is to change at Want Conning for the new Leu Jibe line to Anger Perk, then take the Idyllic Cap line to Halogen Suit.
At home, Hence Goeth Porn Meat is smaller, but it is growing.
Update 24 February: Mark informs me it would be better to get off at Filth Drones - of course!
Posted by daen at 10:46 PM
February 20, 2006
Denmark on "60 Minutes"
Well, I didn't see it last night, but I've just read the transcript and a slightly indignant review in "Politiken" of the segment on Denmark .
"When you use the freedom of speech to make jokes of other people's religions and you do it with the single purpose of demonstrating that you have the right to do so, then you are undermining the freedom of speech as I see it," [former foreign minister and newspaper editor Uffe] Elleman says.
No disagreement there.
I can see that the tone of "60 Minutes" will have ruffled a few feathers in Denmark, nothing that more progressive Danes and Muslims here haven't already figured out for themselves:
"Muslims make up only two percent of the population. Not much, perhaps, but enough to have spawned a backlash. Denmark now has the toughest immigration laws in Europe. And in the last five years, Danes have voted the ultra-rightwing People’s Party into the ruling majority. Since the cartoon controversy, support for this anti-Muslim party has grown to almost 20 percent. ...I'm scared," [Dr. Kamal] Qureshi [MF - a Danish Member of Parliament] replied. "I think there are a lot of Muslims that are afraid that they could be turned into scapegoats, and people would say that the reason that the world hates us is because you people are telling bad stories of Denmark. We have to take the ball away from the extreme groups in Denmark and put it in the middle where the rest of us are.
But that middle is fast disappearing into fantasies of fear. Many Muslims are afraid of being victimized. Many Danes are afraid their culture is under siege. Already, people with foreign values are converging on Denmark’s national symbols."
Now we're at the nub of the problem : erosion of cultural values, the old red herring for restricting immigration. Translation: "We don't like foreigners because they're different". I have heard opinions voiced in conversations with otherwise liberal Danes about Muslims which have shocked me - an almost visceral dislike and mistrust. But I've also had conversations with Danes who have no problem seeing Muslims as just another section of Danish society trying to get on with their lives.
But I haven't had any conversations with immigrants or descendants of immigrants which have been wholly positive about the experience of living in Denmark. Most have been a bit bemused about it, and the conversation usually proceeds along the lines of "Well, I've lived here for 25 years now, and my kids have grown up here, so what can I do?".
"Freedom of speech versus religious sensitivities. Conflicting forces which are doing battle everywhere. The Danes, in their picture perfect world, may have thought they were immune. Now they know better."
"60 Minutes" makes a fundamental error in this (rather sickly-sweet and condescending) summary. It assumes that the World at Large has neglected Denmark since 1945. But a sensible debate about how Islam fits into Western culture was going on. This is of course also one of the issues I have with "Jyllands-Posten" and where I also agree wholeheartedly with Qureshi. That debate was stumbling forward sub-optimally, but it was beginning to gain momentum. It has now been snatched out of the hands of the liberal middle in Denmark and grabbed by the hands of extremism in the World at Large. This is not an appropriate place for discussion of how Denmark's future society will be structured, especially when that discussion was at such a critical stage. That debate needs to be brought back home to moderate Danes and Muslims in Denmark, out of the gaze of "60 Minutes". Unfortunately, support for Dansk Folkeparti has now strengthened to 20% on the back of this, so I guess the debate will have to start from scratch while people get their common sense back.
Posted by daen at 12:46 PM
February 18, 2006
Elsevier MDL 2006 European and UK Users' Group Meeting, London March 5-8
I'll be in London at the Park Hotel between March 5th and 8th for the Elsevier MDL 2006 European and UK Users' Group Meeting. I'm due to give a talk on Monday 6th on using MDL Cheshire for combinatorial enumeration of chemical compounds.
Cheshire is a chemical scripting language and an interactive prototyping environment for building, validating, and using "rules" that analyze and interpret chemistry. In other words, chemistry in a computer. Combinatorial enumeration is taking two or more groups of molecular fragments and joining them together in all the different possible combinations.
Easy, eh?
Posted by daen at 04:47 AM
Things to do in London in early March
NODE.L projects in London in early March.
Friday 3rd March
TV hacking workshop
11am – 5pm @ Borough Hall, Greenwich, SE10 8RE
Evolving Sonic Environments
12pm till 6pm 9th March @ E:vent, E2 6PU
Saturday 4th March
TV Hacking Workshop 2
11am – 5pm @ Borough Hall, Greenwich, SE10 8RE
Idea Store Screenings 1
12pm till 4pm 5th March (TBC) @ Idea Store, Chrisp Street, E14 6BT
Pixel Popping Workshops
12:30pm – 5pm @ bfi National Film Theatre, SE1 8XT
NODE.L at The Nunnery Gallery (part 1)
1pm – 5pm @ The Nunnery Gallery, E3 2SJ
littoral walk
2pm – 5pm (TBC) @ Clapham Common, SW4
Sunday 5th March
buck.spc
12pm – 8pm @ Starbucks, Clink Street, SE1 9DG
Monday 6th March
bodydataspace Open in Process 1
6:30pm – 9pm @ bodydataspace, SE1 1YT
Tuesday 7th March
onedotzero Graphic Cities 05
12pm till 5pm 9th March @ The Science Museum's Dana Centre, SW7 5HE
Early British Computer-Generated Art Film
6pm – 9pm @ bfi National Film Theatre, SE1 8XT
Digital reality fly-through
6:30pm – 8:30pm (TBC) @ The Science Museum's Dana Centre, SW7 5HE
Posted by daen at 04:29 AM
Six "Dead" In Cartoon Violence
The Rockall Times tackles cartoon violence using the mainstay of that upright organ : satire.
EgyptIn Cairo today, four Muslim protestors were squashed when a huge lump of iron in the form of a trapezoidal solid, bearing the legend "50 Tons", inexplicably fell out of the sky. A crane was employed in order to free the pair, who — although apparently otherwise unhurt — ended up as one-eighth of their original thickness but thirteen times their original width and height. Relatives later restored them to their natural shapes by inflating them with bicycle pumps.
Posted by daen at 03:55 AM
February 17, 2006
Two Roses of The Prophet Muhammad and a cheese sandwich to go, please
According to the BBC, bakeries in Tehran are renaming Danish pastries to "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad".
I'm always confused by this approach. So, you conflate something which is "bad" (in this case, the "Danish" part of Danish pastries) with something that is "good" (in this case, the Prophet Muhammad). The net effect is that "Danish" and the Prophet Muhammad are linked.
Likewise, with the renaming of French fries to freedom fries. That's making "French" equivalent to "freedom" in my mind. Fair enough, but not the intent, I suspect.
I have to say, I find "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad" to be more poetic than "freedom fries", even if it is a bit camp.
Posted by daen at 11:57 PM
February 09, 2006
Cheap digs in Copenhagen
Hotel 27 is the former Mermaid Hotel at 27 Løngangstræde in Copenhagen. The hotel has 203 rooms, although at the time of writing about half of them are closed for renovation, which is being completed over the next two years.
The prices are quite reasonable (for Copenhagen, anyway) : DKK 495 per night for a single room or DKK 690 per night for a double. Prices include breakfast. These prices are their special Winter bargain rates, valid until 31st March, so expect them to climb for the Summer. They also have a "grandchild and grandparents" special : DKK 745 for a kid under 13 and two grandparents per night including breakfast.
I found Hotel 27 when I was looking for a place for some chums of mine to stay in November, and like a twit I'd left booking the accommodation until the last minute. It was the end of November, and every hotel was almost fully booked with Christmas party goers, the only remaining rooms were the expensive ones - DKK 1,700+ per night (that's about £160). Then I found Hotel 27 on the "Wonderful Copenhagen" website. It had only just opened the day before, so they weren't showing up on Google or the hotel booking portals. When I phoned, they had masses of spare rooms for my chums at DKK 700 per night including breakfast. It had to be said that the rooms were a bit small and you could see that they needed redecorating, but the staff were nice and helpful, and the location was perfect : right next to the main Town Square (which is also a main bus interchange) and about 10 minutes' walk from the main station, but the hotel itself is on a relatively quiet street. I stopped by for breakfast one morning when I was meeting the chums there, and it was good - scrambled egg, sausages, bacon, toast, cereals, coffee, tea, fruit juices, plus the usual Danish breakfast fare of rolls ("rundstykke"), cheeses, cold meats, fruit ...
So, good luck to them. I hope there's a sustainable market for smaller, friendly, lower priced hotels in Copenhagen.
Of course, there's always Can I Crash? for really cheap accommodation.
Posted by daen at 05:42 PM
Martin Newell on growing old
Martin Newell has this to say about the lost art of grow old in the traditional English manner:
I saw another authentic-looking old man, last weekend. He must have been the second I'd sighted in as many months. He had a big brushy-looking silver moustache, a tweed jacket, a cloth cap, some baggy cavalry twill-style trousers, some brown clumpy shoes and just to really make it perfect, he had a walking stick and was hobbling along in a highly endearing way. When he saw passing children, his eyes twinkled benevolently. He was like a cross between Gaffer Jarge in the Rupert books and the Werthers Original man ( only without the vaguely implied nonce-iness). I was so heartened by the sight of this properly 'old' man, I damn nearly went up and pressed a fifty pence in his hand and thanked him for doing a great job. Only the thought that I might ruin the moment or draw attention to him so that he became self-conscious, prevented me from doing this.When I consider the wonderful old men and women who used to surround me when I was a child , filling my little soul with wonder and fear as I regarded them, it perturbs me rather, to think what has become of us. Especially, as I muse upon today's 65-year old fellow, with his 40 year-old third wife looking furtively on, while he fits his I-pod onto a utility belt, prior to going out jogging. And as soon as he has gone,this third wife will rush with indecent haste to the overly-new Ikea bureau in the study, in order to look at her spouse's Alliance &Leicester Building Society pass-book. She herself may be a hard-faced post-rave era woman from a chubby Midland cheese-town. But she dreads his return home, followed, as it will be by a Viagra-bolstered, stand-up rogering-from-behind in the utility room, whilst the Whirlpool washing machine hums mockingly and the newly-bought Labradoodle yaps in frustration at them through the frosted glass of the garden door. "This is no way to grow old." the dog seems to whine, when our modern pensioner finally staggers into a hastily-placed ironing board, breathless and mired in his own post-coital introspection.
Yes indeed.--.where are those old men who whittled wood, sat incoherent on rough settles in country pubs and lay abed listening to radios too loudly prior to treating their own chillblains by immersing their afflicted feet in a 3-day old urine marinade, ulling high in the chamber pots beneath their sagging beds?.Where are those headscarfed old ladies, grimbling in steamy launderettes, the lust engrained in their wartime eyes, imagining filthy fumbles with the coalman on some fuzzy flashbacked, dolly-mixtures-down-the-back, Novembral sofa of their shrivelled wombs?
Ah but what have we got now? A rip-tide of vinegary 'new pensioners' convinced they're still teenagers. They can jog aerobic, sour in as many hopeful mornings as they wish but it will avail them naught.They have forgotten this: Some trees are more graceful in autumn for a thickened trunk and fewer leaves. Surrender your sad souls, I say. Go gladly and arthritic to your ovens and your sheds, you vain truants of Time itself. I am overcome. I must don the tweed. It is overdue. I will write to my tailor tomorrow. Perhaps I can apply for an Arts Council Heritage Grant?
Posted by daen at 05:07 PM
February 06, 2006
Stupidity
Think about how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.-- George Carlin (1937-)
Posted by daen at 05:12 PM
Is he? Isn't he?
Talk about answering your own question:
"They want to test our feelings," protester Mawli Abdul Qahar Abu Israra told the BBC."They want to know whether Muslims are extremists or not. Death to them and to their newspapers," he said.
Nice to hear the voice of moderation speaking out.
Posted by daen at 12:13 PM
Confucius
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Posted by daen at 09:58 AM
February 05, 2006
Trouble in the Middle East ... Anglia?
Headline in Turkish newspaper Zaman:
"Denmark and Norwich Urge Citizens to Leave Syria"
The story starts ...
Denmark and Norwich have begun to urge their citizens to leave Syria after their embassies were set on fire in the country.Denmark Foreign Minister Spokesman said “70 Danes left Syria. Some left last night, the others left this morning.” The spokesman advised their citizens to stay indoors until a way to get them out of there was found.
The Norwich Foreign Minister said, "It do be a bit of a rum'un, Oi reckon it moight be the waaarst news round these paaarts since that thar Great Turnip Bloight of 1895. Oi'm orf down the pub 'n' Oi reckon youse all orter do the soim fer safety's sake."
No news of any warnings for Ipswich or Great Yarmouth residents.
Posted by daen at 05:39 PM
Protests in England
The Beeb are reporting on concerns that there were no arrests made during protests over the cartoons in London. Placards were waved stating "Europe, your 9/11 will come" and "Europe you will pay, fantastic 4 are on their way" (referring to the 7/7 bombers in London). The police are apparently studying footage of the protests and are deciding how best to act. I personally think this is wise : wading in mob-handed to make arrests during the protest could have led to a riot. I think there will be arrests, but I expect that they will be quiet, discreet and precise. The Met has learned a lot in the last 25 years about dealing with these kind of demonstrations, and it seems their policy now is primarily containment followed by intervention. As we've seen so many times in England and the Middle East, a mob is a dangerous thing. The Met has also learned a lot about sensitivities to demonstrations with strong political or ethnic connections. Those are very often the protests to which the strongest emotions are attached, and moderate protesters who on their own wouldn't dream of violence can sometimes be inspired to action by the actions of those around them, a tactic often exploited during the 80's by the far right (and sadly also by the left) in the form of agents provocateur, political opponents who infiltrate an organisation who are tasked with triggering violent clashes with police and the opposing political group or groups with the aim of inflicting legal and bodily damage on their opponents (eg BNP vs Anti Nazi League etc).
Posted by daen at 04:21 PM
Worst jobs (Danish perspective)
Some of the worst jobs in US science involve urine, excrement or ... ahem ... other bodily fluids. But these days, it seems, there is other unpleasantness to be found, yes even here in Denmark.
4. Moderate Danish Muslims trying get on with their everyday lives
Because, more than ever before, a bunch of ignorant right-wingers are going to make their lives unpleasant both in person, in the press and in politics.
3. Danish people working abroad
Especially those in Middle Eastern countries. After the events of the last 24 hours, this doesn't need explanation. They must feel like people from the US feel - very scared. I am gravely concerned that it is just a matter of time before the first Danish hostage is taken in the Middle East.
2. Jyllands-Posten cartoonist
That scribbling sound you hear is not cartoons being penned, but is rather that of 12 cartoonists scratching Jyllands-Posten off their CVs
1. Jyllands-Posten culture editor (Flemming Rose)
By a combination of poor judgement, Muslim extremism and bad luck a job that once meant sampling fine wines and travelling to exotic far-flung shores in the name of culture now involves furtive glances over the shoulder while skulking in and out of the public gaze. My only hope is that Flemming Rose will emerge from this somewhat the wiser.
Posted by daen at 03:53 PM
February 04, 2006
Tumblehome
A new word learned. "Tumblehome" is a marine term for the inward slant of a ship's above-water hull.
Posted by daen at 02:32 AM
February 03, 2006
Bush government on the Muslims' side over cartoons ...
Well, what to make of this?
"Inciting religious or ethnic hatred in this manner is not acceptable," [State Department press officer Janelle] Hironimus said. "We call for tolerance and respect for all communities and for their religious beliefs and practices."
Never, ever believe that the Bush administration is stupid. This is a wily political move, an attempt to divide the Muslim world while raising popularity at home.
The obvious thing would have been to strongly support Denmark, the European press and freedom of speech. But instead the Bush administration has made a vague supporting statement about the freedom of the press (something that it's not entirely keen on itself) and, no doubt to the chagrin of Anders Fogh, has indicated its displeasure with the tone of the cartoons.
This is, on the face of it, a quite extraordinary position to take. Denmark is a trading partner and military ally. But remember that on the whole, US citizens don't care what's printed in France Soir, Jyllands-Posten or Die Tageszeitung, and they certainly don't care what European governments do (or don't do) or say. To a great many US citizens, the Fox News Channel represents all that's great and good about press freedom.
I think that the Bush administration is envious of the level of control that hardline Muslim governments exert. Too often has Bush joked how easy his job would be if he was a dictator, his adherence to fundamentalist Christianity is well known, and I'm sure he would be quite happy to see stiff penalties doled out for dodgy religious cartoons in the US if he could get away with it. So on one level, the gap between the Bush administration and, say, the Iranian government is actually not that great. This kind of "be respectful to religion" statement also makes him look wise and tolerant to the Right who will reason that if this "Inciting-religious-or-ethnic-hatred-in-this-manner-is-not-acceptable" argument goes for Muslims, it surely must go for Christians too - more warm snugglies for them and more worries for the Left and the Liberal press. Because if you argue against this kind of statement, it's hard not to end up sounding like some kind of fascist Torah-/Koran-/Bible-burning, hate-inducing, sloping-browed thug ...
In summary : The Bush administration has claimed the one small patch of dry middle ground in this morasse before any Liberal commentator could climb on it, and they will stamp on the fingers and kick the faces of anyone who tries to claw their way on there with them.
Expect Bush's approval ratings to go up these next few days.
Elsewhere, this leaves extremist Muslims on the horns of a dilemma. They have three choices : 1) to publicly agree with the US, which would be a bitter pill to swallow, but would allow the outrage over the cartoons to continue unabated ; 2) to publicly disagree with the US, in the name of continuing the enduring game of automatically gainsaying anything issuing forth from the US, the Great Satan, which would have the side effect of effectively putting them in the position where they have effectively supported freedom of the press, which is obviously untenable ; or 3) to ignore the US statement and continue ranting. My bet would be 3. We'll see.
Posted by daen at 07:23 PM
Caviar
"Where does caviar come from and why is it so expensive"?
Real caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon Virgin sturgeon needs no urgin' Virgin sturgeon are a very rare fish That's why caviar's such a pricey dish
Thanks to Michael Crabb (musical director for Southend-on-Sea Borough Council and MBE now, apparently), my ex-music teacher, for this snippet of wisdom.
Posted by daen at 12:17 PM
February 02, 2006
The Muhammad cartoons : my turn
There's a review of today's Euro press on the BBC website featuring an excellent quote from a German paper:
Another German daily, Die Tageszeitung, which also reprinted the cartoons, says the media are "of course" entitled to subject religious symbols to satirical treatment."In a democratic and secular society, showing decency and respect for other cultures does not mean adopting their religious dogmas," the paper says.
But the paper adds that there are good reasons to regard some of the cartoons in question as "tasteless".
"Above all," it says, "in view of the current political situation in Denmark, they are a statement by the majority society vis-a-vis the Muslim minority in the country - a statement which can in fact be interpreted as racist."
Spot on. I don't condone the howling outrage the cartoons have triggered. I also believe that a free press is essential for a democratic society to function. But with that freedom comes a huge responsibility which every editor and owner of every paper in every free country has a duty to uphold. Jyllands-Posten editor Flemming Rose has failed in this responsibility. There is an ongoing debate in Denmark, as there is throughout Europe, on how Muslim immigrants and Christian Europeans can coexist, on how diverse cultural groups can live side by side. The debate has been hindered on both sides by conservatism and, too often, by extremism and prejudice. But slowly, on both sides, moderate voices were beginning to be heard and a dialogue in sensible tones was starting to gain strength. What Jyllands-Posten have done is tantamount to a journalist who is attending a crucial Israeli-Palestinian peace conference suddenly standing up and shouting bawdy Muhammad jokes. Is it legal? No doubt. Is it necessary, desirable, far-sighted or intelligent? Yeah, right. The fact that perhaps a small number of the people who hear you will find your comments deeply offensive, and are also somewhat beweaponed and more than a bit mad, is an added problem. Unfortunately, it's become a problem for all of us.
I would have had more respect for Jyllands-Posten and Rose if they'd got into this mess by having the guts to get some smart people to write some insightful articles on the problems with Islam instead of getting a bunch of cartoonists to mock it. The Muhammad cartoons were always likely to provoke a response, something that Rose is well aware of in the article which first mentions them. He appears to have been in doubt about whether to proceed, having consulted Tim Jensen, a religious historian at the University of Southern Denmark. Jensen basically pointed out that portraying Muhammad in any form, let alone as the bomb-wearing terrorist that Jyllands-Posten showed, is offensive to most Muslims and would be considered provocative. Actually, "like gasoline on a bonfire", is how he put it. So Rose went ahead anyway.
Jyllands-Posten's attempt was so heavy-handed and Neanderthal that it's probably put that dialogue back 10 years and given the stage back fair and square to extremist elements on both sides of the religious and cultural divide. Well done, Flemming Rose and Jyllands-Posten. You got what you wanted, I have no doubt.
Posted by daen at 10:04 PM
February 01, 2006
Why do people become scientists?
Sometimes for the wrong reasons ...
“As an adolescent, I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life – so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.” –- Matt Cartmill.
Posted by daen at 12:56 PM